about your papercut: 'The Beast' from Paper Panda Paper Cuts on Folksy

If I was a richer person, and not the sorry pauper I am, I would want to buy more things to make my home prettier.  Being the sort of person who eschews things which are too 'samey', if I was to spend a lot of money on something, I'd prefer it to be nice and original (and, if possibly, entirely unique), like this fantastic papercut from Paper Panda Paper Cuts on Folksy:

Just look at the level of detail involved in the wings of the dragon:

It's a fairly pricey £189.99, but it took the artist four days to produce and is cut from just one sheet of paper.  'The Beast' comes already framed, but I'd be tempted to use my imaginary wads of cash to pay someone to build me a custom-made coffee table with this papercut encased in the glass tabletop.  It would provide a wonderfully unique surface upon which I could rest the cups of tea brought to me by my specialist tea slave.  Oh yeah people, I dream BIG.

about your bag: Ero bag at Red or Dead

Hey, you!  Busy girl who likes things in their Correct Place so you can find them easily (because, quite frankly, you ain't got time for fishing around trying to find your business card/fancy fountain pen/copy of Twilight)!  Have I got the thing for you or WHAT?  Check out this Ero bag from Red or Dead, complete with handy variety of organisational pockets:

And as a bonus, it's very good looking too:

Right, let's get to the important info, because I know how very extremely busy you are.  It's £55, it's also available in black...

...and tan...

...and it's 15.5 x 14.5 x 9cm.  I thought I'd give you that info to save you time (it's ok; you can thank me later when you're less busy).

Nomday! about your jewellery: Swarovski spider necklace at Amazon

I wanted to write a post about something that was so incredibly vulgar that it bypassed the boundaries of taste, made the beast with two backs avec hideous before triple jumping back around to 'strangely awesome', but then I found this on Amazon and for once in my life I was rendered totally mute for a whole five minutes.

If any of you follow me on Twitter, you might remember how, although I'm not actually frightened of spiders, when I woke up a few days ago to discover one chillin' on my pillow, watching me sleep like a sexual deviant, I did in fact freak the hell out, screaming my housemates into a state of awakeness at 6.30am, which is kind of inconsiderate.

I repeat, although I'm not actually afraid of spiders and I do have a penchant for things as violently 80s as Swarovski encrusted animal jewellery... this will not be on my birthday wish-list (26th of this month people).

But....

I
can't
stop
looking
at
it.

This large spider Swarovski encrusted necklace is available from Acosta on Amazon for £119.99.

*goes back and stares at it some more*

about your dress: Lucy dress by Emily and Fin at Aspire Style

Good news, dress fans!  Aspire Style (aka the best shop in the world) now stocks Emily and Fin!  I've previously only been able to get my Emily and Fin fix from Oliver Bonas, who have a tendency to overprice things, so I'm very pleased that my former employers have made the wise decision to bring this brand into the fold.  My favourite Emily and Fin dress available at Aspire Style has to be the sunshine-filled Lucy dress in pink:

Lucy (being a versatile sort of lady) is also available in purple:

She's £49.00, but don't forget - About Your Dress readers get a very lovely 10% off with the code AYDblog.

I look forward to making better friends with Emily and Fin (and Lucy) now they're being supplied by such a lovely company.  Oh!  Imagine the tea parties we shall have!

about this blog: follow us on bloglovin'

Hey all, you can now follow us over on bloglovin' - just click on the delightful topless lady below to add us to your feed!

For those unfamiliar with bloglovin', it's essentially a snazzy website which collates content so you can keep track of your favourite blogs with ease.  There's even bloglovin' apps available for iPhone and Android phones, so you can get your AYD fix whilst you're on the move!  Nifty.

about your kitchenalia: Royal Wedding tea towel by Emma Bridgewater at David Shuttle

WARNING: DIVISIVE POST ALERT!  I'm quite looking forward to the forthcoming Royal nuptials next week, and I don't care if you think that makes me a loser.  I think it's NICE.  So proud am I of my lack of shame concerning this potentially eyebrow-raising excitement, I have purchased some memorabilia. This doesn't mean I've lost all sense of perspective and invested in just any old tat; I've opted for Emma Bridgewater's Royal Wedding tea towel (featuring a very happy lion):

I got mine from John Lewis, but it's now sold out on their website and on the official Emma Bridgewater website too.  Being the Royal Wedding joy-spreader I am, I'm pleased to inform you that David Shuttle still have stock available, and they're only £10!  A small price to pay for such a stylish souvenir of The Big Day™.

about your stationery: Moleskine Passion Recipe Journal at Amazon

One of the few colleagues I haven't featured in About Your Dress posts is my manager, Janine.  She gets terribly hurt every time I feature someone who's not her, but the fact of the matter is, she's simply not stylish enough.  I kid, I kid!  In actual fact, she's probably too stylish, and I am constantly intimidated by her coolness.  Do you think that's enough brown nosing to save my job?

Anyway, Janine fancies herself as a bit of a chef, which is why she made the very wise decision to invest in this fantastic Moleskine Passion Recipe Journal, available for a mere £9.89 from Amazon.

It's absolutely jam packed with nifty features, like ingredient lists, food calenders, measurement and conversion charts and STICKERS.

And as well as having sections already marked for main courses, desserts etc, there's a further six sections you can personalise yourself.  I'd have one dedicated entirely to ice cream.  If cooking's not your thing, Moleskine's Passion range also includes journals for lovers of books, wine, "wellness", films, music, travel, and babies (not in a creepy way).  Get yourself over to Amazon and indulge your passion!*

*But only using your best handwriting, please.

about your bag: plaited shopper at Zara

In my quest to bring you the most beautiful items possible, I find myself constantly harassing complete strangers to find out where they purchased their dress/bag/bra.  Sometimes I am left disappointed by answers such as "I got it on the moon five hundred thousand years ago", or even worse, "It's Chanel" (sub-text: it's not for the likes of paupers such as yourself), but fortunately my flagrant disregard for the personal space of others does occasionally pay off.  Take, for example, the spoils of my latest inappropriate stranger-bothering: the fabulous plaited shopper at Zara. It's available in three colours, it's very big, it has a shoulder strap you can't see in the images, it's lovely thick leather, and it's not bad value at £79.99.

Confused as to why it's called the 'plaited' shopper?  Check out these handles:

Not technically plaited, but I care not.  If I hadn't already had my heart stolen by my beautiful Scaramanga satchel (aka the best birthday present EVER), I'd currently be planning my wedding to this shopper.  Good thing this lady's not for turning.

Nomday! about your trend: nautical naughtiness

I'm about to over-share (standard). I have a major fetish for pirates. And sailors. In fact, anything remotely nautical. And it seems like the nautical vibe is still creeping into the high street this summer. I for one am happy about this. I love anchors and men in stripy t-shirts and me in stripy t-shirts and navy blue with gold or coral or tan accessories and rum and treasure and skull and crossbones and oh everything.

I went out last Friday, and incidentally it turned out to be one of those utterly rubbish evenings climaxing with me weeping on the N20 to East Finchley into the biceps of my housemate (he does have GREAT biceps) but thanks to this new dress I purchased from H&M for £7.99, I looked totally hot, which, you know, is an ideal silver lining to the cloud of heartache induced from jumping to irrational conclusions. There's also a 3/4 sleeved version in store, but I couldn't spot it on the website.

Yeah, you think she looks hot? She's got nothing on me.

If only Topshop could support me and my banging norks, I'd be a repeat bikini customer for life. Well, maybe not life, I probably will grow old disgracefully, but bikinis do not feature as part of my long term strategy. 'Topeshope' as my friend Sally affectionately calls it, are incredibly inconsiderate to those of us with a cracking rack, there's a distinct lack of underwire and a constant presence of halter-neckage. This is not ideal for me. This would have me bouncing out of the sea like a Baywatch blooper. If you're blessed with perfect, pert, little puppies, buy this Red Rope Print Bandeau Bikini for £26, so I can live vicariously through you as I lay on the beach wailing in a wetsuit, because it's the only thing that stops me from indecent exposure:

Tesco are selling this cute little limited edition playsuit for 25 smackaroonies. I'm loving it.  I have visions of myself on a sunlounger on the deck of a yacht accessorised with a MASSIVE white hat and big sunglasses with some coral bangles, as I cooly sip a sea breeze (drinks should always be appropriate to the occassion). From the safety of my sunglasses, I sneakily perv on sailors doing sailory things like coiling rope, hoisting the main, looking through telescopes and taking off their stripy shirts, oiling each other ready to brawl so they can win my attentions... er, sorry I think my sailor fantasy merged a little bit into Spartacus there for a second. Mmmm, gladiators...

That will be all.

about your dress: bird print dress at Mango

I first spotted this lovely bird print dress on the John Lewis website a few weeks ago, and immediately balked at the price (around the £70 mark) before swiftly moving on to bigger and better things things I could afford with my £50 voucher.  By a wonderfully happy coincidence, I was browsing the Mango website on the hunt for something completely different, when I spied said lovely bird print dress on sale for a much more reasonable £44.90.  Look how very lovely it is:

It's covered in teeny tiny birds!  They're so small people will probably stop mid-conversation and point them out, like this: "It's like I was saying, you can never know too many people called Quentin- Wait, is your dress covered in teeny tiny birds?  That's amazing!  Can we be BFFs now please?"

I'm hoping it'll stay that price until pay day, when I can afford to make it my own.  That would be lovely (almost as lovely as the dress itself).

about your skirt: floral prints at Zara

Right now, I'm mostly lusting after a new floral skirt for everyday wear, since I've decided my current floral skirt is inappropriately flippy and short.  I need more structure in my life, and I think this could well come in the shape of a couple of Zara skirts.  Check out the petals on these badboys:

They're a very reasonable £22.99 each, so I may be forced to purchase both - the upper one in particular would be ideal now, since it would lend itself to being paired with black tights.  Anything which prolongs the wearing of leg-cover-uppers is a winner in my book (especially when it's as pretty as these skirts).

about your kitchenalia: owl egg cups at From the Wilde

How do you like your eggs in the morning?  In an owl-shaped egg cup, of course!  More specifically, these specimens by Hannah Turner Ceramics at About Your Dress favourite From the Wilde:

And my personal favourite:

He looks so sleepy!

They're a little on the pricey side at £29.99, but they also double up as Creme Egg* holders, making them ideal Easter time purchases.

*Or Lindor egg, if you're dead classy like me.

about your socks: bunting socks at Topshop

Alert!  Alert!  It's a mere fortnight-and-a-bit until the Royal Wedding!  And because I'm always looking out for you guys, I have the perfect solution for those of you who want to unleash their inner patriot but live in a sometimes-scary block of inner city flats, thus ruling out any street partying.  Check out these socks, featuring the most British of party paraphernalia: BUNTING.

They're a mere £3.50 from dear old Topshop, and are the perfect way of celebrating alongside Will and Kate without looking like a member of the BNP.  Sorted.  When can we start on the Pimms?

Nomday! about your squirrel paraphernalia (or, how to bully your sibling)

My baby sister Rachael (she's actually 20 now, but you know how it is with siblings, they'll always remain babies in your mind) has a serious phobia which I have never, ever been able to take seriously. Phobias in general I frown upon as silly nonsense, but saying that, if you ever try and touch my belly button - once I'm done throwing - up I will berate you until you weep. And don't even think about eating a banana in front of me. Or in fact having one in the same room as me.

So basically she's terrified of squirrels. I think it might have something to do with their beady eyes, but when she was17 she'd refuse to walk to work or school because of the squirrels that live in the trees by my mum's house. To be fair they are cocky; they'll chuck twigs at you whilst chattering tactical plans in their secret language to each other angrily, but lets face it, they're just squirrels.

The very laws of nature mean that once you sense a weakness in a rival (and when you're one of six your siblings are all rivals, especially when the only other girl is so super sweet and gorgeous 24/7) you capitalise on that weakness until your opponent is neutralised. Bearing this in mind, any time I see anything squirrel themed, I jump on that shizzle, wrap it up and post it to her first class. I chuckle to myself, thinking about how excited she'll be opening the post, thinking I'm a great big sister, fully knowing that when she sees that bushy tail and glinting eyes she'll be furious.

Here are some squirrel themed things I'm contemplating sending to her. She's in Holland right now and I miss her pretty little face and the squeals of indignation she lets out when I wind her up. If you have any thoughts on what I should purchase for her, let me know in the comments section.

Folksy comes to the rescue with this Mr Squirrel brass locket featuring a little red one gathering acorns. He looks fresh out of Beatrix Potter doesn't he? She'll definitely hate me for getting her this and £8.50 is a small price to pay for getting one over on your sister:

Imagine the look on her face when I invite her round for tea when she returns; she'll go to wipe her mouth with my new squirrel napkins (which I purchased from Etsy for £20), I'll ask her what she thinks of them, she'll glance down and BAM! There's a squirrel staring her right in the face.

If I sent her this squirrel letterpress love note, she'd be hard pushed to get angry with me, because it also says 'I Love You'. Bonus. £2.98, ideal.

This cushion, which costs about £25 would be a sneaky option, because it would probably take her a few moments to realise there's a squirrel on it. So she'd be all 'Oh Nom! Thank you, that's so cu- NOM! NOM! IT'S NOT FUNNY!' and I'd be all 'Heh heh heh'.

This delight is a screen saver. He's actually kind of freaking me out, so imagine how furious Rach would be, coming back to her laptop, only to discover Cyril the Squirrel staring her in the face! £3.21!

As a final note, I also found some more things on Etsy that I just think would take the bullying too far. Like this squirrel jaw necklace (*gag*) and these preserved squirrel paws (*retch*), I decided not to provide photographs of these delights on About Your Dress, for obvious reasons. If you're feeling curious though, the links are right there. *Shudder*.

about your dress: stalk print cotton tunic at Laura Ashley

What's better than a pretty dress?  A pretty dress that's now half price!  Let me provide you with an example in the form of Laura Ashley's stalk print cotton tunic:

It was £80 (boo) but now it's a much more affordable £40 (yay)!  As an added bonus they currently have all sizes in stock, so no one shall be disappointed!  It's also extremely good value because it is a dress for all occasions: work, picnics, weddings, picnics, visiting the zoo, going to Tesco, saving the world from an army of pterodactyls...

Enjoy your weekend, everyone!

about your dress: Viola dress at All Saints

Those nice people over at All Saints are kindly giving their customers 25% off all items until the 12th of April.  Sadly for me, this doesn't help much; even with a very generous £36.25 off, I still cannot afford this beautiful Viola corset dress:

Pretty, isn't it?  I'm glad you agree.  Now go and spend £108.75 on it so that I may live vicariously through you.  Goooood reader.  Have a biscuit.

about your bag: vintage leather satchels at Scaramanga

Long term readers will know of my never-ending quest to find the perfect leather satchel.  There was always something not quite right with the bags I found - they'd either be the wrong colour, the wrong size, the wrong material, or (sadly) the wrong price... and then I found Scaramanga.  Specifically, I found Scaramanga's medium wide vintage leather satchel with front pocket:

As you can imagine, I fell in love.  I actually found this company a few weeks ago, but as I'd requested this bag for my birthday I didn't want to jinx it by writing about it before I'd seen it.  However, I'm extremely pleased to report it is everything I've ever wanted in a satchel AND MORE (we've become friends too).

Scaramanga have an enormous range of leather satchels in all sizes and shapes, and they're very reasonably priced.  My bag cost £72.50, which I think is fantastic value - it's made with really good quality leather and is big enough for all the crap I like to carry around with me.  I could even take my laptop to a coffee shop and pretend to be a tortured writer, and it's got pockets aplenty so I could find my keys with ease when I got bored of being tortured and wanted to go home again.  If you're not keen on the front pocket, you can simply pay £7.50 less for the plain version:

There's also a wide range of non-satchel bags available.  I particularly like this Jet Set vintage leather flight bag (£95) - perfect for all that luxury air-based travel I do (when I'm asleep, in my dreams):

I have now resolved to collect every bag that Scaramanga have for sale, but since I didn't win the lottery this weekend, I shall start small with this completely amazing T-Rex canvas bag:

It's a mere £4.50, and it's basically the best thing I've ever seen.  If dinosaurs don't float your boat, there's lots of other designs available, including boats, tigers, and a holy cow.

All in all, this shop is the stuff of dreams - excellent prices, brilliant stock and shipping's only £2!  I demand that you all go and spend lots of money there now to make sure they can keep supplying my habit.  Ta.

Nomday! about your masculine miscellany

So it's my imaginary boyfriend's birthday! He's *super* lucky to have me, bcause I'm uber thoughtful, kind, witty, intelligent, a great cook, creative, sometimes-independent-and-sometimes-endearingly-clumsy, fun-to-be-with, charming, great with parents, dogs and old people and most importantly, modest. I tick all kinds of boxes, if only you can push past the slight aura of weird that constantly surrounds me. Luckily, my imaginary boyfriend has achieved this zen-like state and he reaps the rewards at regular intervals (sometimes three times a night!).

To celebrate both his superhuman powers of indulging me patiently and the day of his birth, I've chosen a few trinkets to make him feel generally cherished and adored. Because he doesn't technically exist, my budget is completely unlimited, which is handy for not only making me look like an ace girlfriend, but also for the purposes of a blog post, wouldn't you say? Here goes nothin'.

For my imaginary boyfriend's study, I sourced him this limited edition Terry Pastor (oh, you know, the guy who did the cover art on Ziggy Stardust and Hunky Dory) Rayguns print from Pedlars. There's only 195 in the entire world and consequently I'm forking out £495 smackers for it plus postage, but my beau is totally worth it.

As soon as I saw this 1940s vintage Raeths 12" black slated globe (also from Pedlars), I knew he'd appreciate it.  Just like me, he loves a nice bit of vintage, but he has an especial liking for things of a military bent. Plus, because it's constructed from a handy slate material, I can use it to leave him endless endearing little notes such as 'I love you' and 'If you make me a cup of tea, I'll be the bestest girlfriend in the whole wide world for the entirity of today'. I'm not even going to tell you how much it costs, because it is of very little consequence for something so perfect. Okay, it's £695. But what price are you trying to put on love and happiness? On the shining, joyful eyes of my grateful imaginary boyfriend?

Lastly, I was mooching around on Brighton Pod - you know, that awesomely fabulous online shop that supports UK artists? I've chatted about them before, and I recently spotted something that is just the pièce de résistance. Get ready for it. This chair has been everso cleverly reupholstered by Kelly Swallow using a selection of rugby shirts! The Rugby Shirt Chair costs £1,200 and is made to order, so the one you receive (should you also be purchasing one for your imaginary boyfriend) will be unique.

Oh, Imag-Boyf is going to love kicking back on this in his snug, watching some sports, perhaps casually puffing on a bubble pipe, sipping a G&T whilst Fritz frolicks gaily on the hearth. I might even come perch on his knee for a bit and feed him some homemade tiffin bars and give him some kisses. But not for too long, because I don't cope well with the television getting more attention than me and I really can't be expected to pretend to be interested in sports for an extended period of time. Just sayin'.

about your dress: sleeveless bow front dress at Max C

I do love me a bit of Max C.  They sell pretty little dresses which won't break the bank, and they haven't yet become so big that everyone knows about them (although they probably will be soon enough).  I wish I'd found this sleeveless bow front dress earlier so I could have snapped it up in time for my birthday celebrations this weekend.

It's an absolute steal at £35.  Perhaps I shall be like the Queen and have two birthdays this year...