about your bag: Needle and Thread make up bag at Aspire Style

This fantastic Needle and Thread make up bag from Aspire Style has stolen my heart.  As a wannabe seamstress myself (I'll be making millions just as soon as I've worked out how to use my sewing machine), I could use this handy pouch both as a make up storer and a reference guide - there's even a little measuring guide along the top:

There'd be nothing to stop you from using it for storing your needles and thread, either!  It would make a lovely gift for the clothes-maker in your life (especially if said clothes-maker is yourself), and is an absolute steal at £14.99.  And don't forget, About Your Dress readers can get a very nice 10% off at Aspire Style simply by entering the code AYDblog at the checkout.

about your art: classic prints from Graham and Green

If I were a lot cleverer than I actually am, I would build a machine which would enable me to project ideas into other peoples' brains.  Not in a malicious brain-washy way, you understand; I would use said machine purely to get people to buy me things.  That's not all that evil, is it?  What do you mean, "No, it's not evil in a Hitler kind of way but it is slightly morally questionable and massively selfish"?  Fine, I won't build the darn machine.  I'll just have to stick to the age old technique of being completely flagrant about what I want in the hope some kind person takes pity on my TERRIBLE PLIGHT.

I WANT THESE:

They are all from Graham and Green, and range from £30 (numbers 1, 2, 5 and 6) to £35 (the other two) and they are very very pretty.

Oh! Graham and Green, how you entice me with your pretty vintage-esque wall art!  How cruel you are to force me to make the decision between butterflies, birds and buildings* because I'm poor and can't afford all of them (and apparently would be a social paraih for making a device to manipulate people)!  Oh, who am I kidding - the birds would win every time, especially when they look like these guys:

about your babygro: Baby Suki sleepsuit at Joules

This post will be the first (and possibly only) on About Your Dress to feature clothes for infants, but when I saw this Baby Suki sleepsuit in the Joules catalogue I had to share it with you... because IT HAS A PUG ON IT:

It's £22, which isn't a lot to pay for a gift to someone who is currently with child/has recently popped one out.  If you don't know anyone who fits this description, you either need to befriend a heavily pregnant lady or become fertilised yourself.  Go on, take one for the team; it'll totally be worth it if it means you get to pug-ify your sprog.

Nomday! about your trousers: chinos at ASOS

So I've been dying to join in with this chino malarkey, because I think it looks dead classy and elegant and effortless and what not. But the issue is, the whole high-waisted shizzle looks terrible on me, as does the peg-leg thing, because I have 32 inch legs but an absurdly short torso which is pretty much always a size 12, so I end up looking like an apple on two sticks. This makes it really difficult for me to pull off the 'out-of-Africa, faking it like I've-just-been-on-safari vibe', so I have to pick my trouser options carefully.

Last Sunday, my housemate Graeme and I were chillaxing in our ridiculously tiny TV room; he had invited me to watch football (LOLZ!? I love faking like I'm interested in sports so that I can just hang out with boys and pretend I'm one of those cool tomboy types) and I was taking this opportunity to thoroughly browse ASOS on my laptop in my quest for the perfect Nom-chino. Let's face it, you can't just nip onto ASOS for ten minutes can you? It takes a considered, marathon effort to shop ASOS effectively. After approx three hours (maybe it was less, football always seems to take forever to me) I had wound up spending £300, but that's actually FINE becauuse I wasn't REALLY spending that money, because it was on my credit card AND I knew I was returning over half of it, and got five pairs of trousers out of it.  Below are my choices and as I've already received, tried on, thrown things at the mirror whilst shouting obscenities and returned the crap ones, I'm going to save you the effort and emtotional scarring of purchasing them and tell you what my thoughts were.

First we'll start off with the A|Wear Belted Peg Trouser, which comes in at a friendly £30. The picture did it for me, I thought to myself, yeah, I can be like her, I can just casually mooch about looking effortless and nonchalant. I think it was the stripy top that really sold it to me.

The material of these felt lovely - it was cool against my skin (ideal for summer) and draped nicely - so if you're a short size 6, they'll be ideal for you. Sadly for me, they were slightly too short, making me look weirdly out of proportion. The lack of visible pockets also made my behind look absolutely flipping massive, to the point that I actually shouted some choice insults in the general direction of the mirror. Look, they even make the model's bum look weird AND she's on tippy-toes:

Next up is the Vila Paper Bag Waist Trousers, which come in at £35. I love how these look on the model. See how pretty and happy she looks.  So casual with her turned in toes. What her smiling face and svelte size 8 waist doesn't tell you, is that unless you have a completely flat tummy and a straight waist, you'll look like your paper bag trousers are stuffed with potatoes. Or playdough. Or something else suitably NOT HOT. Pleats at the front are UNKIND. These went straight back in the bag faster than Usain Bolt when he's after chicken nuggets before a 100m record breaking race.

Bearing in mind what I just said about pleats, you'll already know how well these Johann Earl Plain Tailored Trousers which cost £45 panned out, becase they have a higher waist, more pleats and they're a lighter colour (I'm sure there's some insane mathematical ratio between the proximity of a shade to white and the perceived size of ones arse, but quite frankly, I'm not clever enough to think it through fo the purposes of this blog post). It's a real shame, I had quite high hopes for them, which involved me, G&Ts and a collection of pretty men laughing at all of my jokes.

Thankfully, the three hour ASOS marathon was not a complete waste of time and resource as these Vero Moda trousers with military stripe waistband (£32) turned out to be just what I was looking for:

The colour is a nice warm tone, which so far has gone perfectly with the majority of my wardrobe, the length is ideal, finishing half-way down the heel of my brogues and making my long legs look longer and skinnier than usual (result!). There’s just enough bag on the butt area to nod towards the safari pant genre without making me look like I’ve pooped my pants and also, the waistband is ELASTICATED, which means I can wear them out to an all-you-can-eat big game buffet without fear! *IDEAL* I officially heart Vero Moda. This isn’t the first time they’ve come to my trouserly rescue and I have a feeling it won’t be the last.

about your dress: Stine Tube dress by Vero Moda at Leila

Whilst running errands for work today (for "running errands", read "frolicking along Upper Street in the sunshine") I spotted this pretty little dress in the window of Leila:

This Vero Moda Stine Tube dress is so beautiful and Spring-y it makes my heart ache, and it's only £22!  Absolute bargain!  Now I just have to decide which colour to get on pay day, since it's also available in "soft concrete":

Help me choose, fair readers!

about your discount: 20% off at Liberty!

I found a couple of things on the Liberty website last week which I'd added to my massively long To Do list, and in a wonderful twist of fate, Grazia are now offering readers 20% off at Liberty, both in store and online!  You could go out and buy Grazia yourself (for a mere £1 with this here voucher), but if you're as poor as me you might just have to be a little bit sneaky and nip into your local newsagents for a bit of "Oh, what's in Grazia this week?  I'll just have a flick through before I buy it... what's that?  20% off at Liberty?  Amazing!  I'll just take this up to the till - OH NO SUDDENLY I JUST REMEMBERED I HAVE SOMEWHERE TO BE RIGHT NOW, I'LL BUY IT LATER I SWEAR".  And the best part is, the code's valid until the 1st of April, so you can wait until pay day to use it.

Here's what's going in my semi-imaginary shopping basket...

My colleague Bee (the third stylish co-worker I've now been forced to write about) rocked up to work yesterday with this massive Liberty canvas shopper, which could quite easily carry a small child.

It looks even better in real life!  Look how big it is (especially in comparison to tiny Bee):

That's a lot of bag for your buck, even when your buck is a very reasonable £14.95 - and that's before the 20% off.

If I was a rich girl (na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na*) I'd buy my friend Poppy (the original inspirational colleague) this canvas owl and cat tote bag by Simeon Farrar.  It's usually a whopping £80, but the magical discount would bring it down to £64!  She likes owls and cats, and she likes them even more when they're side by side...

When I was done being selfless and I'd managed to free myself of Poppy's grateful grasp, I'd obviously need to reward myself for being so benevolent.  I'd do that by buying this beautiful Therberton print exercise book (£8.95), available with ruled or plain pages:

Finally, I'd invest in this pretty Liberty print smock dress (£95, or £76 post-discount)...

...then I'd don said dress - which is so Spring-y it probably smells of daffodils and daisies - chuck my Therberton notepad into my giant canvas bag, and FROLIC.  That's just the kind of gal I am.

*Apologies for the Gwen Stefani moment

about your dress: bird belted dress at Peacocks

I'd like to firstly say that I can in no way take any credit for finding the subject of today's post; that honour must go to my Twitter friend Abbie, who featured it (in both prints) on her lovely blog, All About Abbie.  Go and check it out her blog now Wait until you've read this post then go and check it out because if you go now you'll probably not come back - it's so full of loveliness I may lose you forever.

Whilst Abbie opted for the cream floral version of this belted dress from Peacocks, I prefer the blue.  It's got birds on!

Best of all, it's a mere £20 AND it's got a free belt!  This is definitely good enough to tide me over until Peacocks release Pearl Lowe's latest collection next week.

about your happiness: Photosynthesis Lamp at Cow&Co

Whilst we at About Your Dress love nothing more than presenting our dear readers with bargainous finds, we also understand that sometimes you need to spend a little bit more on something truly special, especially if that something's good for your health.  It's been scientifically proven* that lights and plants do wonders for your general well-being, so the combination of the two should technically turn you into some kind of insanely happy (yet awesome fun to be around and not remotely annoying) superhuman, right?  Right.  So spending £185 (plus a negligible amount for a little vine plant) on this Photosynthesis Lamp by Meirav Barzilay from the marvellous Cow&Co isn't that extravagant, is it?  Because it's good for you and whatnot?

No, it's not remotely extravagant.  After all, who can put a price on your health?

*probably

Nomday! about your shoes: Bronx Herald 37 Lace Ups at ASOS

Oh Gods, I have a problem. You see, my lust for statement shoes is high, but my funds are oftentimes low, particularly at times like this, when I have just purchased a new Canon 7D complete with lenses and memory card ready for wedding season (did you know, as well as being hilarious and talented, if slightly insane, I'm also a brilliant photographer?)

The thing is, when funds are limited and you have to accomplish the mammoth task of reducing your personal debt, you cannot afford to make frivolous purchases. Sometimes you just have to give yourself a stiff talking to, suck it up and save your pennies. But I am very particular about shoe design and consequently, meetings with shoes which I would proudly bring back to the homestead and penetrate on a regular basis with my tootsies are rare. SAD FACE.

My mother, dear sweet Rosebud, says a problem shared is just not really your problem anymore, so over to you readers. You're about to see my dream shoes (of March 2011). For this post, you have the power to control my wardrobe and my finances. I am handing over all responsibility to YOU. You're all like, my collective dominatrix and I am the wormy, feeble, wheedling submissive begging for your approval. Underneath these Bronx Herald 37 Classic Lace Up Flat Shoes, which cost £80 from ASOS, is a poll. TELL ME WHAT TO DO, MISTRESS!

Should Nom risk debtors prison for the sake of these leopard print babies?
	Absolutely not, they're vile and should be burned. And you will be punished for your poor taste.
	Oh Nom, they're fabulous but you're way too pretty for prison.
	No Nom, you can't have these because I already have them, fashion FAUX PAS!
	YES Nom, a THOUSAND TIMES YES! Just eat baked beans for a month and lose weight in the process!

about your ring: pocket watch ring at Accessorize

My finger has now got a semi-permanent green mark on it* owing to the near-constant wearing of my beautiful grandfather clock watch ring which I featured last year, but sadly I broke my first in an horrific battle with a cardboard box and the second's never been fantastic at keeping time (I have to wear a watch necklace in order to keep synchronised).  Even though the current edition of 'ring watch' isn't all that reliable, I can't bear to stop wearing it because I love it so much, and I've been unable to find an alternative since Accessorize selfishly decided to stop selling them...

...UNTIL NOW!  Accessorize has come to my time-telling rescue again, with this lovely pocket watch ring!

Unfortunately I can't afford until the end of the month (it's only £10.80 but I really am that poor) so I must keep my fingers crossed that someone either buys it for me** (do I have to mention my impending birthday again?) or I get paid.  I guess I'll just have to keep running late until then!

*I know this isn't a stunning endorsement, but I care not.  It's only on the inside of the finger and it fades after a few days - I know this because my best friend banned me from wearing it for a week before her wedding so I wouldn't ruin the photos with my unsightly stain.  I don't know why she didn't just let me wear it.
**Don't forget, I've got sausage fingers.

about your shop: Magma

London and Manchester-based readers may already be familiar with Magma, a small chain of shops which offers a delightful range of books, art, fashion, stationery and homewares.  Basically, they sell everything we love here at About Your Dress, and we could probably survive by featuring them alone (but that might get slightly boring and we'd have to change the name to MAGMA WE LOVE YOU AND THINK YOU'RE THE BEST or something equally sinister).  Because I'm so nice and it's Friday, I've created a collection - nay, a compendium - of my Top Five Favourite Things From Magma In No Particular Order, so that you may each buy me something for my birthday (which is in a mere 16 days so you'd better hurry) truly get an idea of just how glorious this shop is.

1) Being the fan of typography that I am, I have no idea why I don't own any books relating to the subject.  Perhaps I should purchase the wonderfully named Alphabets: A Miscellany of Letters by David Sacks (£24.95),  from Magma's fantastic typographical books department - it has a whopping 120 books!

2) Living in central London (if I was in Home and Away I would refer to it only as 'The City'), I don't see much in the way of trees/birds, so I might have to invest in this Nest Lumen Lamp by Adam Frank to create the illusion of nature in my own home.  I'm quite simple, so it would definitely make me think I was out in the great wide open (especially if I forced someone to make bird noises in the background).  It's £39.50, and Cedar and Pine versions are also available.  You could make your own forest!

3) Friends of mine know how utterly crap I am at making decisions; writing this post took a lot longer than it had to because I simply couldn't decide which my five favourite Magma items were.  Perhaps I should buy The Decider (£100) by the very inventive Mr Jones Watches?  As the seconds tick round, the face displays 'Yes' or 'No', so when you're faced with a dilemma you need only to look to your wrist for the answer!  Only problem is, I can't decide if I should buy it or not.  What say you, watch?

Good decision, well made.

4) Problem: you've made a resolution to be more crafty (by which I mean make stuff, rather than be a sneaky sneakerson), but you are terrible lazy/have big ol' sausage fingers which render you useless at delicate procedures/can't draw for toffee.  Solution: get someone else to do it for you then pass it off as your own by purchasing this book of Sukie iron-on fabric transfers!  For a mere £6.99 you get 20 pretty designs to personalise a boring bag or dull dress, and there's full instructions so it's completely idiot-proof.

5) My final choice is a must-have for all Moomin fans out there.  Do you ever wish your mother was more like Moominmamma?  Have you renamed the traditional devil on your shoulder Little My?  Do you miss Snufkin so much you occasionally pretend your boyfriend is him?  Err... me neither... QUICK, look at this:

You can make your own Moomin characters and befriend them, acting out fantasy scenarios use them as decorative items only!  And it'll only cost you £12.  The instructions are entirely in Japanese, but I've assembled enough Ikea furniture in my time to rely entirely on my instinct (and diagrams).

I beg you to set aside an hour and peruse the Magma site yourself.  After all, there's only a fortnight left of shopping time until my birthday!

about your dress: bird embroidered 50s dress by River Island at ASOS

Long term readers will know I have a pretty low opinion of River Island, but like many things I have a low opinion of (ITV, Mondays, Take That) they occasionally surprise me by turning up trumps.  Although I was unable to find this beautiful bird embroidered 50s style dress on the River Island website itself, it's available for a mere £39.99 from ASOS - perhaps they just give all their good stuff to ASOS and leave their regular website users with the dregs?  Anyway, enough of my conspiracy theories.  LOOK AT HOW LOVELY IT IS:

AND THE BACK IS LOVELY TOO:

I basically want to marry it.  I don't even care if that's illegal/society frowns upon it; we will live together in sin in a small shack in the Scottish Highlands, travelling there by way of Gretna Green (I hear they'll marry anyone there).  I should probably hurry up though, ASOS only have sizes 6, 8, 10 and 16 left, and I'll probably have to find someone to purchase one of my kidneys before I can afford to buy the remaining stock because if I see anyone else wearing one I'll get really jealous and cry.

about your stationery: Moleskine's Pac-Man collection

Everyone loves Pac-Man, and everyone loves Moleskines, so why on earth did it take so long for the two to come together and make sweet retro gaming/stationery babies?  Ah, who cares, at least it happened eventually (on the 30th anniversary of the launch of the game - almost like they did it on purpose):

Moleskine have long been considered masters of the mid-priced notebook and the go-to guys for all your quality stationery needs, but they have a fondness for fun too; as well as their marvellous Pac-Man collection they've also recently released a range to mark 60 years of Peanuts.  The range of Moleskines featuring our dot eating friend is currently only available to buy via Amazon here (including a 2012 diary for all you insanely organised people) but I've contacted Moleskine about availability on their website and I'll keep you posted!

As an added bonus, Moleskine have even made this wonderful video to show you how much more fun your desk environment would become with the addition of a single Pac-Man notebook:



Imagine if you had the four piece gift set?  Chaos, I tell you!

about your cardigan: Dolly cashmere cardigan at Cath Kidston

I'm currently coveting this lovely Dolly cashmere cardigan from the quintessentially British Cath Kidston:

It's a little on the pricey side at £85, but it's cashmere!  Being a Brora employee, I am fully qualified to launch into a lecture on why this particular type of wool is so expensive, but if I were to do so you might find it boring*.  Hopefully you'll just trust me when I say this: it's worth it.  This cardigan is especially worth it because it's all pretty and perfect for Spring (and if you don't dig this lovely shade of grass green, it's also available in pink and red).

*That doesn't mean I won't provide a thorough explanation if you really want to know.  Perhaps I'll include graphs.

Nomday! about your shop: lizzieneedles on Etsy

As you have perhaps gathered from my overall tone and style, I am not what you might call... usual. I fully recognise that my love for granny chic, animal print and kitsch is overt and not to everyone's taste. Yes, when my house is complete it probably WILL have a flamingo on the lawn, even though dear old miniature daschund Fritz might end up trying to use it as a peeing post, because I love how ridiculous flamingoes are. I also really want one of those drinking fountains that cascades the booze in delightful sprinkles so that I can ALWAYS have some form of cocktail to hand. One of the rooms might well be decked out to resemble a bedouin tent complete with squillions of enormous cushions and a shisha. My bedroom will be a vast nest of cosiness with a wall full of ornate golden mirrors so I can check myself out and maybe pretend to sing into my hairbrush any time I want. *Sigh* It will be an overwhelming realm of crazy and I for one cannot wait to get there.

So the point I'm getting to is that I love anything whimsical. For one, it gives me great pleasure to look at things that are both strange and beautiful and it also gives people a good warning that I'm different. This means I generally don't have to go through the laborious task of enduring dull conversations with a polite smile on my face, because anyone too 'normal' spots the crazy signals a mile away and crawls back into Boringland sparing me a reminder of the definition of ennui. Consequently, imagine my sheer delight at discovering lovely Lizzie Pearce's shop on Etsy. She makes these exquisite accessories out of felt by hand, and she's super good at it.

Take this deer brooch for example, doesn't it look fresh out of Bambi? It's 12cm in length from nose to ears, so it's a real feature piece. I absolutely love it. It's handmade out of 100% wool and just looks so delicate and beautiful. It costs just over £115, plus £5 P&P, and she sends everything by airsure so that you can track and trace your items.

If that's a little too daring for you, there's also this ADORABLE felt mouse brooch - lookathowcuteitis! He's £75 and measures 7cm x 4cm, so he's a bit more discreet.

PETA activists would totally throw paint on you for wearing fox fur, but I'm sure they'd be cool about this fox necklace, which costs £97.

If you prefer bunnies (and let's face it, who doesn't go check out The Daily Bunny to cheer themeselves up when they're feeling blue? You'd be dead inside if that website didn't make you squeal with delight) then you might like this pretty rabbit hair comb, which costs £40.50. Gosh, she's so sweet isn't she? She looks JUST like that Clover off of Watership Down, the doe who escapes from the hutch and then gets recaptured by that awful Farmer with the gun. Man, I hate that film. The music still makes me cry.

Last but certainly not least is this awesome Rabbit Fascinator, which will set you back the best part of £200, but let's face it, ain't gonna be nobody else at the Races sporting this bad boy. I've included two pictures so you can see all of the detail.

 

Seriously, that's amazing right? You could DEFINITELY pretend that you were like Snow White or Cinderella in those scenes where they get all the little woodland creatures to help them with their tasks, singing away cheerfully as you go about your day. What more could you possibly ask for?

Selected pieces of Lizzie's work are also available at AYD featured shop, From The Wilde. I also follow her on Twitter at @lizzieneedles. You should too.

about your homewares: Retro dinner plates at Patchwork Harmony

One of my favourite internet treasures is the sale section on marvellous homewares site Patchwork Harmony.  As well as offering a fantastic selection of gifts and bits and bobs to make your house a more pleasant place to be, they also sell one-offs, such as this fantastic set of four retro dinner plates:

Patchwork Harmony wins bonus points for the clever use of Tunnock's Tea Cakes as an indication of size.  The plates themselves are 1970s originals, and are an absolute bargain at £10.50 (having been reduced from £18.95).  Here's the deal - if you don't buy them before I get paid, I totally call dibs.

about your bag: leather satchel at Warehouse

Whilst it is a fact that I'm constantly looking for a tan leather satchel which ticks all my boxes (I refuse to settle for anything less than perfection in this case), it's also true that I'm easily distracted and my head can be turned with very little effort.  Hence why this unassuming black leather satchel from Warehouse was able to catch my eye...

Satchel - tick

Nice design - tick

Spacious - tick

Leather - tick

Affordable - tick (it's £65)

Long strap - I assume so, because it can apparently be worn "in 2 ways" (unless the second is atop your head)

Tan - NEGATORY...

...but I'm not sure I care!  I know, I know, I'm as shocked as you are.  This bag is so pretty and practical that I may have to do exactly what I said I wouldn't and COMPROMISE.  It's actually available in tan, but I'm very particular about the shade I'm looking for and I'm not sure this is it:

If you've seen this bag in Real Life, let me know your thoughts!  Otherwise I may have to schedule in a trip to my local Warehouse in the very near future (as soon as I've found out where that is), lest this really is The One and I let it slip from my grubby satchel-loving grasp.

about your dress: Manuel dress at Mango

When you're feeling a bit down, the perfect pick-me-up (not the magazine with the horrendous advert) can come in many forms.  A large glass of your favourite beverage, a fresh bunch of daffodils or a catering-sized tub of Ben and Jerry's are all valid examples, but sometimes you could be feeling so bleak that only a pretty new dress can lift your spirits.  I think this Manuel dress from Mango would bring me out of all but the deepest downers:

It's so classically beautiful in a Hepburn-esque way!  And look at the lovely button detailing on the back:

I think anyone would feel like a princess wearing this dress, and I especially like the fact it has pockets.  I love pockets because you can fill them with handy things (like your hands) and that in turn fills me with glee.  However, possibly the single best thing about this dress is the distinctly non-princessy price of £49.90.  Who says money can't buy you happiness? 

about your dresses: Fearne Cotton at Very

When celebrities lend their name to things, it usually makes me quite angry.  Britney, are you really a perfumier in your spare time?  Madonna, how much of a hand did you actually have in that range of gyms?  Katie Price, did you genuinely design your new equestrian clothing range yourself?  Actually, I've seen it; you totally did.  However, Fearne Cotton's range for Very is an entirely different matter (though her BFF Holly Willoughby's is not - there's only so many ditsy tea dresses I can look at before my head hurts and I need a lie down and a cup of tea).

Word is, Fearne actually has a hand in the design of the collection, and has been pictured out and about on numerous occasions in articles from the range.  There are three pieces in particular I'd like to draw your attention to, all of which I came across during an epic hunt for a wedding outfit (not my wedding) - check out these beauties:


Chiffon cape maxi dress, £99



Metallic jacquard tea dress, £69



Printed bead collar dress, £59


As is typical when I begin a task, I was so distracted by these three dresses that I failed to find something I can actually wear to the wedding (I think these are verging on too-white-for-nuptuals-which-aren't-your-own), but I've a feeling at least one of these will be finding its way into my wardrobe in the not-so-distant future.  It's totally fine though, you can pay in weekly installments on Very so it's not like it's real money or anything.  Right?

Nomday! about your necklace: Guns Necklace from Not On The High Street

Tammy Wynette was so right when she sang 'Sometimes it's hard to be a woman'. It IS hard to be a woman, especially when you're giving all your love to just one man and he turns out to be a cheating rotter who really just deserves a swift kick to the plums. Hey, it's not that I'm a man hater, I sure do love men, especially ones with deep gravelly voices and a nice, shiny moustache like Tom Selleck; by the way, have you guys been watching Blue Bloods? Tom Selleck is a major fox. I don't know what this means for me, because he is like, an OLD man now, but is he not the personification of manliness? Little boy Bieber can do one, Tom Selleck's masculine presence would have me weak at the knees. I'm pretty sure if I met him I'd literally quiver in the face of his manly power. My voice would be all wobbly and I’d feel all light headed and totally embarrassing stuff like that.

Anyway, I can't remember what I was writing because I drifted off into some kind of Three Men and a Baby fantasy, except there is me, no baby and only one man, and that man is Tom Selleck, but it's true, being a woman can be hard. So, inevitably as we get older we toughen up a little bit. Not too much - I mean, I’m never going to be a body builder or a lady ninja (although being a lady ninja would be really cool) but I’m no longer the fragile little nymph of my teenage years. And if you’re going to be a little bit tough, then you should probably give people an indication of that. You know, just a little heads up, don’t mess with me sunshine, because I’m like Pammy in Barb Wire to the power of TEN when I’m in a bit of a huff, and I will DESTROY YOU IF YOU MESS WITH ME SUCKAAAAAAA! Ahem.

So that, my friends, is where this cute little Gun Necklace (£55) by Love Your Silver from Not On The High Street comes into play. 

I love gun themed jewellery, but I find it's rather hard to find items which aren't vulgar and/or hideous. This is sweet and pretty, with a slightly aggressive edge to it. A smiling assassin for the jewellery box. It will almost certainly say (in a polite manner) "Look mate, I might well be pretty and girly, but I’m also totally fierce on the inside buster, and if you cross me you’re gonna be so-rry".

about your jacket: 50% off a practical parka at H&M

I have a penchant for signing up to shop mailing lists in the (mostly vain) hope that I'll get something out of it, and last night it actually paid off.  H&M kindly informed me that they're currently having a mini-sale on a few of their Spring items, including this handy parka:

This jacket had caught my eye when it was full price, but I wasn't too keen on paying £34.99 for it because I'm a pauper, so when they took it down to £17.49 I snapped it right up.  As the saying goes, "It's only a bargain if you need it", and I think that by this logic my purchase was completely acceptable because my current parka only has 3/4 length sleeves and I therefore NEEDED one long enough to cover my delicate lower arms.  For someone with more than their fair share of 'natural padding', it's quite astonishing how badly I feel the cold (even with my Brora wristwarmers).

The parka is also available in beige:

The mini-sale is only running until Sunday, so don't delay - cover your forearms today!

about your brooch: watch bling at Hannah Zakari

Problem: you want to be cool and wear the time on your chest like a nurse, but you want to embrace your inner diva at the same time and think the traditional medical fob watches just aren't glitzy enough for your person.  Solution: these kilt pin brooches by Eclectic Shock!


Big cross kilt pin brooch, £44



Oval locket kilt pin brooch, £46


They're both available at About Your Dress favourite Hannah Zakari, and feature fully functional watches, so now whenever anyone asks you for the time you can tell them in style (if you don't become distracted by all the other shiny constituent parts of the brooch first).

about your t-shirt: Car Print Roll Sleeve Tee at Topshop

I own a really sweet t-shirt that I bought years ago from Zara which features a monster.  Said monster is extra special because it looks like it's been drawn by a four year old child, and since I am a fan of that look (perhaps due to its similarity to my own level of artistry), I am seriously considering shelling out £18 for this: 

This car print roll sleeve tee from good old Topshop could join my monster t-shirt and I could start an epic collection of tops which look like they've fallen into the hands of a gang of kids armed only with felt tips and their imaginations!  I could be their leader!  Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go and build a castle out of Duplo.

about your shoes: Santa Isabel flats by Bertie

It's been a while since I've fallen in love with a pair of shoes (at least three weeks) but my heart remains loyal to the brogue, and these beautiful Santa Isabel flats by Bertie are a particularly fine example:

They're slightly on the pricey side at £75, but that's a small price to pay for such a wardrobe staple, and I love the classy ribbon tie.  If you're feeling a bit more saintly/confident in your ability to not step in dirty puddles, why not plump for the beige option?

Jazzy.